An Emotional Tug-of-War

This is my last week of Stay-At-Home-Mommyhood, and my brain is having an emotional tug-of-war as it tries to figure out whether I should be happy or sad. Right now the relentless and foreboding Woe seems to be tugging hardest, but the nimble and unpredictable Enthusiastic may win out by Monday morning.

I'm really trying to look at the bright side...

• Right now I'm on track to completely lose the ability to converse with adults. Proof? Mama refers to herself exclusively in the third-person all day. She develops an awkward nervous twitch if others broach topics outside the realm of baby pooping/eating/sleeping/babbling. She has some difficulty avoiding interludes of song during sustained conversation. It's probably time to reintroduce some adult playdates into her life.
• As Owen grows and learns and becomes a big boy, I'm very obviously regressing. I've re-memorized every Disney song I ever learned. And while "Part of Your World" was fun to sing over boxed wine with my best girlfriends in college, it becomes far less cool to hum the entire Little Mermaid soundtrack during virtually every quiet moment in a day. (Though I swear Owen loves me more when I'm speaking like a Sebastian the Crab, mon.) Probably good to fill my mind with some more...er...stimulating material.
• Compared to being the full-time mom of a 4-month-old, school is going to my downtime. I'll be able to finish an email in one sitting, worry only about my own potty needs, eat breakfast on occasion, use both of my arms at the same time, wear clothes free of baby puke, untether myself from the baby monitor. Who knew pursuing a doctorate could be the easiest part of one's life?

But then there are things I'm having a harder time with...

• I really and truly love calling myself "mama" and am proud of my new pooping/eating/sleeping/babbling expertise. I sort of like having Hakuna Matada stuck on repeat in my head. And I especially love ending every day completely and utterly exhausted, knowing that every ounce of my energy went into raising that lovable little boy. I know it's important for both of us to have a little independence and to do a little growing on our own, but that's sure not going to make it any easier to be away from him. Ugh. (PS - If our nanny calls any of you in a panic on Monday morning, unable to locate the baby, you should probably tell her to check my backpack.)
• I will have soon "real" and "important" things to write, which sadly precludes regular Baby Spam updates. I'm going to continue posting pictures and hopefully writing every now and again. Not sure if anyone is even reading this anymore, but it's been such a great outlet for me and I truly appreciate anyone and everyone who has stopped by to check in on us over these last several months.

Mary Poppins sing-along + Bumper Jumper = happiest Owen

3-month vs. 4-month picture

Loyalty training starts early

Sleepy boys in the morning

I love me some ridiculous winter outfits

Awkward Hair Phase requires some 'do-experimentation